this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
