I got chris browned last night
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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