I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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