So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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