i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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