Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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