she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
only you would photoshop your dick
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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