So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
