yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
