You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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