bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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