Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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