She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
