before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
