he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
two words...techno handjob
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
