im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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