He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
