who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
