I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
