Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
