from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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