I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
