Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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