"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
