Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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