I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
