i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
