Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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