is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
