Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
