I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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