Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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