I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
