dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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