I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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