I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
