and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
