Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
