So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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