thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
