White coat. Heels.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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