GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
