We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
