I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And then my night got REAL pukey
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
