would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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