Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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