You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
