I wannas sexs uuuuu
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
