is your mom at the bar?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
