your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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