Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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