I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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